What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
