did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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