So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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