I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
