Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
