Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
