The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
