Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize