Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
