Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
