Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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