From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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