clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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