well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
