i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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