I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
