Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
