He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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