Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
