You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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