wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
