OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
