did you get engaged???
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
