that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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