smell my finger.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
