so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
