we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude. I can hear the air.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
