it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
