why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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