this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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