im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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