I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
