so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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