Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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