ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
