I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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