Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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