u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
