She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
