no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
