Your tits are I can't wait for
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
