Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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