I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
