Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
