He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
