i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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