im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
