I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
