he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
