I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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