I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
look no pants
Your dad touched me again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
