i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
