After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
