If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
